What a Kerfuffle
by GolfballFan
Summary: Norbert Kerfuffle could be described in one word: rude. Although other words like boring, mean, fowl-mouthed or self-centered would suffice. As an avid hater of the Mario franchise, it makes sense that fate - or karma, whatever you prefer - would have him being sent to the irritatingly cheerful Mario universe for an adventure he'll never forget; too bad he wants nothing to do.


The dim glow illuminating from my somewhat distasteful lamp is so fragile it barely lights up the drawer it resides on, though this is made up for by the luminous cyan gleam from my computer. It's quite dark, but that's how I like it. Most people would classify me as a 'freak' or a 'weirdo', and there is a logical explanation for this; everyone but me is retarded. On the walk to school in the morning, I have to mentally brace myself for the assaults my education has to suffer, being surrounded by my idiotic classmates.

Oh, how rude of me.

For those around who'd like to know, I am Norbert. Norbert Kerfuffle...

Shut up, it's a nice name.

Unlike most 'children' my age, - urgh, I hate being referred to as that. I'm fourteen, not four. - I favour my wit over my muscle (which I admittedly don't have much of.) I am home to an abundant of intellect, my I.Q itself being, in my opinion, extremely high. Probably higher than the teachers at my school. My unfathomable wisdom and prodigious acumen is, however, often underappreciated and neglected in favour of inferior pursuits such as singing, dancing and... urgh... sports. As my fingers dance across around the keyboard, my eyes can't help but notice a discarded video game on the floor. Although this certain game leaves a rotten taste in the back of my mouth, I unenthusiastically snatch it from the ground before sitting back down.

This game was so awful that - somehow - only I could see through it's disguise of rainbows and talking mushrooms to see what was really there, hidden beneath the surface; it's called Super Mario. The one in my grasp right now being Super Mario Galaxy 2, to be precise. I spend hours upon hours everyday, trying to inform rather headstrong halfwits online to abandon their own beliefs and accept the truth; Mario sucks.

Of course, this results in my ban everyday.

Jerks.

A recurring response to my undeniable yet denied advice is 'why do you care so much'? Why do I care so much that so many idiots spend everyday of their lives mindlessly playing away on their console's, skimming through a poorly designed level in which all you have to do is get to the end without even glancing at the so-called story they talk about? Well, gee. Don't know how to answer that. Somehow, my important insight into how much the games suck practically leaps over their heads, as no matter how many times I tell them they never seem to listen.

Drowsily, I have to practically push myself away from my beloved computer before clumsily stumbling over to my bed. I crouch down before pulling out a hidden box underneath, quickly shoving the game in one of the free spaces, in between Super Mario 3D World and Super Mario Kart 8 respectively. I know you're probably wondering why my least favourite game series is featured so prominently in my room when I hate it? Well, mostly because when I complain about it, I need to know my stuff. And what's better than first-hand experience?

Duh.

Standing up again, I stand aimlessly for a second in slight boredom. My life is boring. Everyday, I wander the school grounds tiredly, already preparing to leave for home. Sometimes, I just crave for something abnormal to happen. Something exciting. Something-

_"Zzzzzzzzzzzzz-zzzzzzaaaaaaatt!"_

A thundering electrical-like sound blasts through the room, flinging my door open suddenly and causing me to stumble backwards in freight. To be honest, I'm slightly concerned how my windows withstanded the power. I cover my ears, waiting for everything to subside.

Deciding to let my guard down since it looks safe enough, I slowly let my arms drop down to my side's and sigh. Well, that was certainly weird. I cautiously walk over to the shattered remains of my door, which is now spread across the ground like butter. While inspecting my used-to-be door, I can't help but notice that the hallway outside my room is slightly... blue.

_"Hmmm, I wonder if it's safe..."_ I think to myself. I've haven't seen any horror movies (because of lack of interest, not fear. Me? Afraid?) but my common sense tells me that you never, never ever follow the sound of possible threats, especially not downstairs alone in the dark.

And my intuition has never lied to me before...

Eh, screw it.

Despite the fact the light is atleast bright enough so I can - albeit barely - make out my surroundings, I can't help but involuntarily quiver slightly in every step. For all I know, a infamous serial killer on the lose and could've stopped by to greet me with his or her presence - with a knife in my back. Whoever or whatever it is, I doubt it's here to listen to my extremely knowledge anti-Mario advice. Which is unfortunate. Despite my involuntary shakes, I manage to slowly push the door open and step into the living room.

Oh, fuck.

What happened to my tv?

The television can be more associated with a volcano than an entertainment medium; the blue light from before is practically erupting from the screen, coated in repetitious static. I hold out my hand in an unsuccessful attempt to block the almost blinding light. I push myself forwards, hoping my hand might be lucky enough to track down the off-button, despite the light. For some reason, the closer I seem to get, the brighter it gets too. I always knew this tv was crappy, but...

I'm about to just give up and go back upstairs, to bed, when I make the fatal mistake of taking another step forward. As if a warning that I'm getting too close, the blue light transforms quickly into a pure white blast. I quickly lose my footing, sending me tumbling forwards. I hold out my arms to try and shield myself from the impact.

But instead of smashing into the screen like I thought, I just keep falling.

* * *

><p><strong>Hello everyone reading this, thank you so much for reading the first chapter of my story and I promise (pinky-promise, bro.) that I'll continue writing this until it's finished. Don't want to spoil anything, but more Mario next time <span>AND<span> I think it'll be longer.**

**I hope Norbert is likeable. He turned out a bit different than originally intended but that's not all that bad. I like him, but maybe when I'm more experienced I'll be able to write him as I intended, or at least closer to what he was planned as.**

**Anyway, please leave a review if you liked it, I'd really appreciate, good or bad. See you next time!**


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